I remember our first kiss like it was only minutes ago. It was the first time I ever felt so wonderful, so
vulnerable. We'd been fighting. I don't remember what about, it hardly matters now. He was angry with me, I'm sure it was due to my princely selfishness in some way, and he stormed from the castle out into the rain.
I loved him, even then, and I couldn't stand to see him so hurt. So, I did the only thing I could think of. I chased after him.
"You are so selfish, and arrogant!" he hissed, when he discovered that I had been following, "You can't even let me walk away from you! You have to follow me and prove something!"
I stopped. "You're right," I said, "I'm sorry. I- I'll leave you."
As I turned to go, I felt his hand on my arm.
"You surprise me every day, Arthur Pendragon," he said, stopping me, "I never expected you to apologize."
We were so close. So close, but I could barely hear him because my heart was flapping in my chest and drumming in my ears.
I'm not as bad as you think
" I managed to breathe. He was inches from me! I couldn't stand it! "I'm quite good
"There you go again!" Merlin snapped, his face still close to mine, but he was mad again. I must have said the wrong thing. "You think you're so strong and so amazing and so good and yet you can't even see other people! You have no idea all the things I do for you!"
"Well I would if you didn't lie to me so much!" I snapped back. Of course I knew he was a sorcerer, but that only made it hurt more that he didn't trust me in the slightest. "I know you keep things from me! I know you help me with so many things, but you seem to want to keep it hidden, so I haven't pried!"
"You don't know anything about how much I've done for you!" Merlin hissed, turning away.
"YOU'RE A SORCERER!" I yelled, I couldn't take it anymore. He thought I didn't care for him? I loved him! I thought he was going to get angry. He turned so swiftly and stared at me so intensely that I wanted to shrink away from him.
?" he asked. I couldn't read his tone, but it was quite serious.
I nodded sheepishly. I'd never felt so vulnerable in my whole life.
"I didn't tell you I knew, because you want it kept secret," I said, I felt like I was apologizing for knowing.
"Thank you for respecting that," Merlin whispered. We were closer now than we'd ever been. If I leaned forward just a few inches, our lips would have brushed. But I was afraid, what if he- no, of course he didn't.
" I breathed.
perhaps I was a little quick in judging you
" he breathed back. God, we were so close. I only realized then that I was trembling. I closed my eyes to try and steady myself, but he must have taken that as a signal, because I felt his lips on mine.
My eyes flashed open in surprise to see him recoil fearfully.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me, I-" He began muttering excuses as he stumbled backwards away from me.
"No," I said, stepping toward him and pulling him back close to me.
I could never forget that embrace, and that kiss. The first was uncertain and shy and full of nervousness, but the second kiss, was full of passion and longing and need and I never wanted that moment under the rain to end.
but nothing lasts forever.